The Journal · 10 min read
How to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift: Polite Wording and Poems (UK)
By Beth, founder of Graceful Studio · Updated
If you already live together and own more mugs than you’ll ever use, a gift list can feel pointless. What you’d really love is help with the honeymoon or the house deposit. The tricky bit is how to ask for money as a wedding gift without sounding grabby. The good news: with the right wording, in the right place, it reads as warm and sensible rather than rude. This guide gives you copy-and-paste wording, original wedding gift poems (short, sweet and funny), and wording for no gifts and charity donations too.
Is it rude to ask for money as a wedding gift?
Not in the UK, not any more. Most couples live together before they marry, so the old idea of a gift list to set up your first home doesn’t fit. Asking for money instead of wedding gifts is now completely normal, and plenty of guests are relieved: it’s easy, it posts in a card, and they know it will be used.
What makes it feel rude isn’t the request, it’s the way it’s made. Guests rarely mind being asked for money; they mind being told. These are the things that tip it over:
- Putting it on the main invitation, so it’s the first thing guests read.
- Suggesting an amount, or a minimum.
- Printing your bank details on the card.
- Making it sound expected rather than optional.
- Being vague. “Money please” sounds like a bill; “towards our honeymoon in Portugal” sounds like a story guests want to be part of.
Get those right and you can ask with a clear conscience. Older relatives who prefer to buy a present will still do so, and that’s fine too.
Where to put it: details card or website, not the invitation
Can you put money as a wedding gift on the invite? You can, but we’d gently steer you away from it. The invitation is for the who, when and where. Gift wording belongs on a separate card, so it’s there for anyone who looks but never the headline.
- The details card is the natural home. Ours are 120 mm square and sit behind the invitation alongside accommodation, timings and dress code, so a short “Gifts” section feels like useful information rather than a request. Our details card guide covers everything else that goes on it.
- Your wedding website is the place for anything longer: the full story of your honeymoon plans, the link to a honeymoon fund, and how to give.
- Both together works best. One or two lines on the card, then “more details on our website”.
How to politely ask for money: the golden rules
- Lead with your guests. Start by saying their being there is what matters most.
- Make it optional. “If you’d like to give a gift…” does a lot of quiet work.
- Say what it’s for. A honeymoon, a deposit, a garden. Guests love knowing.
- Keep it short. Two or three sentences on a card is plenty.
- Never mention amounts. Every contribution should feel equally welcome.
- Match your tone. A formal invitation wants formal wording; a festival-style wedding can carry a funny poem.
Wording for asking for money as a wedding gift
Copy any of these onto your details card or website and swap in your own plans. We’ve started with gentle, classic wording and got more relaxed as we go.
Honeymoon fund wording
Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all.
However, should you wish to give something,
a contribution towards our honeymoon
would be very gratefully received.
Having you there is all we want.
But if you’d like to give us something,
we’re saving for a honeymoon on the Amalfi Coast
and anything towards it would be amazing.
We’ve dreamed of seeing Japan together for years,
and after the wedding we’re finally going.
If you’d like to give a gift, a contribution
towards our trip would mean the world to us.
House deposit and home wording
We’re saving for our first home together,
so if you’d like to give a gift,
a contribution towards our deposit
would mean a great deal to us.
We’ve just moved into our first home
and there’s a lot of work to do.
If you’re thinking of a gift, a little towards
turning our house into a home would be wonderful.
When you already live together
As we’ve lived together for a few years,
we’re lucky to have everything we need for the house.
If you’d like to give a gift, a contribution
towards our honeymoon would be lovely.
Formal wording, parents hosting
Should you wish to give a gift,
Jessica and Charlie would be most grateful
for a contribution towards their honeymoon.
Short lines for a details card
Gifts: your company is plenty, but a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be lovely.
Gifts: if you’d like to, a little towards our first home would mean so much.
Gifts: no gift necessary. If you’d like to give, details are on our website.
Wedding website wording
Honestly, the best gift is having you with us.
We’ve lived together for four years and have a home full of things we love,
so we haven’t made a gift list.
If you’d like to give something, we’re saving for our honeymoon:
two weeks island hopping in Greece.
You can add to our honeymoon fund using the link below,
or pop a card in the box at the reception.
Thank you, from both of us.
Wedding gift poems asking for money
A poem softens the request and makes guests smile, which is why wedding gift poems are so popular. All of these are written by our studio, so you won’t see them on every other card. Use them as they are or change a line to fit your plans. Short poems suit a details card best; save the longer ones for your website.
We’ve got the mugs, we’ve got the plates,
the cupboards full of kitchen things;
what we’d love most is sunny days
and all the memories travel brings.
So if you’d like to give a gift,
a little towards our honeymoon
would give our hearts a happy lift,
and we’ll be sending postcards soon.
Your being there is gift enough,
but if you’d like to spoil us too,
a little towards our honeymoon
would buy a sunset and a view.
We’ve been saving every penny
for a front door of our own,
a little garden, room to grow,
a house to turn into a home.
If you’d like to give a gift,
a contribution, large or small,
towards our first home would be
the loveliest gift of all.
We’ve lived together long enough
to own a lot of kitchen stuff,
including (we’re ashamed to say)
three toasters and a fondue tray.
So if you’re thinking of a gift,
please don’t add another one;
a little towards our honeymoon
would be a lot more fun.
Our wish list’s short, so here’s the clue:
a little cash, and lots of you.
No need to wrap, no need to post:
a honeymoon’s what we’d love most.
We don’t need things to fill our shelves,
we’d rather fill our year instead
with city breaks and mountain walks
and breakfast somewhere new in bed.
If you would like to give a gift,
our adventure fund is on our site;
each pound becomes a day away,
a train, a meal, a starry night.
There’ll be a wishing well on the day,
beside the cake, beneath the bunting;
pop in a card, a wish or a joke,
and, if you like, a little something.
The thing we’re looking forward to
is having all of you right there;
your laughter, hugs and dancing feet
are gifts beyond compare.
So please don’t feel you need to bring
a present wrapped up in a bow;
just come and celebrate with us,
that’s all we need, you know.
We have each other and a home
with all the things we’ll ever need,
so rather than a gift for us,
please help a cause we love succeed.
A donation to [charity name]
would make our day mean even more;
it’s close to both our hearts, and something
we’ll always be so grateful for.
“Your presence is our present”: no gifts wording
If you genuinely don’t want anything, say so kindly and clearly. Without a note, most guests will bring something anyway, so it’s worth a line on your details card or website. Here’s how to say no gifts at a wedding without sounding stiff:
Your presence is our present.
Please, no gifts; we simply can’t wait
to celebrate with you.
We’re lucky enough to have everything we need,
so we kindly ask for no gifts.
Having you with us is more than enough.
You’re travelling a long way to be with us,
and that is the best gift we could ask for.
Please bring nothing but yourselves
(and your dancing shoes).
No gifts, please. If you’d like to,
a card with a few words for us to keep
would be the loveliest thing.
Charity donations instead of wedding gifts: wording
Asking for donations in lieu of gifts is a lovely choice, especially in memory of someone who can’t be there. Name the charity, add a sentence on why it matters to you, and put the donation link on your website.
In lieu of gifts, we would be grateful
for a donation to [charity name],
a cause very close to our hearts.
You’ll find a link on our wedding website.
Instead of gifts, we’d love you to make a donation
to [charity name] in memory of [name],
who we know would have loved to be with us.
If you’d like to give a gift, you could add to our honeymoon fund
or make a donation to [charity name].
Both links are on our website, and either would mean so much.
How to make giving money easy (and safe)
Once you’ve asked, make it simple for every guest to give, whether they’re 25 and live on their phone or 85 and still write cheques.
- Keep bank details off printed stationery. Cards get left on kitchen tables, photographed for social media and passed around. Put payment details on your wedding website (password protect it if you can) or share them privately when a guest asks.
- Consider a honeymoon or cash fund site. Guests can pay by card and add a message, and some let them “buy” a specific experience, like a sunset dinner. Check the fees and how long payouts take before you choose one.
- Have a card box at the reception. Many guests, especially older relatives, prefer to bring a card with cash or a cheque. Choose a box that closes or locks, and ask someone you trust to take it home at the end of the night.
- Tell guests what you did with it. Mention the honeymoon in your thank you cards (our thank you card wording guide has examples). A line like “we toasted you on our first night in Positano” means a lot.
Mistakes to avoid
- Leading with the gift. Always open with how much you want guests there.
- Sounding transactional: “cash only”, “no presents, money instead”.
- Mentioning amounts, or that guests should “cover their plate”.
- Printing account numbers on the details card.
- Using a jokey poem on a very formal invitation suite.
- Forgetting the guests who’d rather give a present. Accept it graciously.
Put it on your details card
Our invitation suites can include a details card, and we’ll lay out whatever gift wording you choose, poem or prose, on your digital proof before anything is printed. The soft pastel floral invitation at the top of this page shows how naturally a short “Gifts” note sits beneath the timings and dress code.
Not sure how it will look? A sample pack shows you the card, colours and finish in person, and standard packs are sent within 4 days. If you’re still writing the invitation itself, our wedding invitation wording examples will help.
Frequently asked questions
Is it rude to ask for money as a wedding gift in the UK?
+
No. It’s very common now, especially for couples who already live together. Keep it polite by leaving it off the main invitation, making it clearly optional, saying what the money is for and never mentioning amounts.
How do you politely ask for money as a wedding gift?
+
Start by saying your guests’ company is what matters most, then add something like “if you’d like to give a gift, a contribution towards our honeymoon would be lovely”. Put it on your details card or wedding website.
Can you put money as a wedding gift on the invitation?
+
It’s better not to. Keep the main invitation for names, date, time and venue, and put gift wording on a separate details card or your wedding website, so it’s available but never the headline.
What is a good short wedding gift poem asking for money?
+
Try: “Your being there is gift enough, but if you’d like to spoil us too, a little towards our honeymoon would buy a sunset and a view.” Short poems fit neatly on a details card.
How do I say no gifts at my wedding?
+
Be kind and clear: “Your presence is our present. Please, no gifts; we simply can’t wait to celebrate with you.” Put it on your details card or website, as many guests will bring something unless told.
How do I ask for charity donations instead of wedding gifts?
+
Name the charity and say why it matters: “In lieu of gifts, we would be grateful for a donation to [charity name], a cause close to our hearts.” Add the donation link to your wedding website.
Should I put my bank details on my wedding stationery?
+
No. Printed cards get left out, photographed and shared. Put payment details or a honeymoon fund link on your wedding website, ideally password protected, or give them privately to guests who ask.
Where do I put honeymoon fund wording?
+
A short line on your details card, with the full explanation and the fund link on your wedding website. On the day, a card box at the reception helps guests who prefer to give cash or a cheque.
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